Guinea Pigs

I wish I was a guinea pig
Cos then I wouldn't give a fig
I'd run around and fart and squeak
and shit on laps or have a leak.
I'd eat my oats
and screw my dad
and act like I am going mad
everyone would say I'm cute
tho I only wear my birthday suit
A guineas life is great you see
Bye for now I need a pee!