Here you stand
Skeletal but proud
Striking a pose
Naked, no clothes
Cryogenically froze
What lucid dreams
Absorb you?
Such brittle bones
Who would confess
You are sleeping beauties undressed?
Spring again
The kiss of the sun calls
And you melt in his warmth
Removing our layers
As you don yours
Time for new finery
A fashion show of latest shades
No rival in Paris
Velvet green
Blossom cream
Natures showers
Wash you clean
In liquid warmth
You luxuriate, unfurl
No longer bashful
Summer burns
We bask and thirst
We yearn for cool
We hide in your shade
As you seek out the light
Shimmering jewels and perfumes
The winds plays
And we hear your voice.
Autumn sneaks in
We are jaded and faded
The wind steals your clothes
our eyes are pleased
Daily we observe your silent striptease
As you dance to the rhythm of natures breeze.
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Some good images but I think you have allowed the poem to get away from you with the extreme personification of the trees\tree and then you have too many pronouns with the human one as well. Also some over rich phrases could be edited. I know it sounds a bit picky but it does not go too well with the very elaborate rich vocabulary in places.My favourite was the last verse and i rewrote it for fun as nearer my style. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteAutumn sneaks in
as the wind steals your clothes,
and we, jaded as Autumn,
are pleased to see your striptease,
a daily delight
as you dance
to the rhythm of nature's breeze.